If you two are rooting for the Patriots to win Super Bowl LII, get ready for some devastating news. Tom Brady transgressed his strict TB12 diet by eating a carrot on the working day he was supposed to eat only radishes, and as a result he’s ballooned up to 500 pounds.
This is absolutely heartbreaking news for Patriots devotees everywhere. It’s hard to imagine Tom Brady’s going to be able to put in a great performance at the Super Bowl when he’s currently too heavy to leave his house.
Normally, the TB12 dietary system continues Brady in peak physical situation with a carefully calibrated nutritional regimen. Unfortunately, the Patriots superstar QB decided to celebrate the Pats’ AFC Championship victory over the Jaguars by cheating a little and nibbling a bite of raw carrot on a day that was supposed to be dedicated to eating nothing but radishes. That small portion of carrot altogether hurled off the TB12 diet’s precise a better balance between vitamins and minerals, and Brady instantly gained hundreds of pounds of pure torso fat.
If merely Brady had adhered more closely to the TB12’s strict dietary schedule! With one bite of carrot on radish period, the four-time Super Bowl MVP has instantly become dangerously overweight, and the Patriots’ odds of winning the Super Bowl have taken a huge nosedive.
Worst of all, the carrot nutrients, which promote lasting lifelong health if ingested on carrot day, are extremely toxic on radish day. In addition to causing Brady’s massive weight gain, the destabilizing carrot nutrients have also withered the athlete’s muscles and made them to atrophy, so that just holding a football is an immense fights for him. In his present carrot-induced morbidly obese, frail nation, there’s no way that Brady can lead the Patriots against the Eagles.
This is basically every Patriots fan’s worst nightmare come true.
Brady’s team of TB12 coaches and cooks are currently working overtime to try to get him back in playing condition in time for the big game this Sunday. They’ve committed him an entire wheelbarrow of avocados to eat, and are furiously scratching a TB12 vibrating sphere on his leg in hopes of making all the fat fade and his muscles regrow in time for commencement. It’ll be tough for Brady to shed the 275 pounds he needs to get back into peak physical situation by this weekend, but if anything can build him healthy in time for the Super Bowl, it’s the trusted and game-tested TB12 Method.